GOP Court$ Lady Gaga: to NO Avail

Talk about a "bad romance?!?"

Last Summer in Tampa - Okay, this is one to make your head spin around and pop off.  The Romney campaign apparently tried to get Lady Gaga to perform at the GOP convention last summer!!!!  Is your head still attached? Mine is hanging by a tendon. If you ever needed proof positive that Mitt Romney is TOTALLY out of touch with ALL of America, this IS IT as nobody's more vocal as a LGBT activist than Gaga!  She and her mother run her Born This Way Foundation which helps prevent bullying and promotes tolerance and equality!  Hello??? You dudes HATE equality.  Remember?

So the biggest bullies of all bullies approached Gaga?  I am a sucker for irony but this may be the funniest thing I've heard all year.  Yes, there are gay conservatives.  I have known some, but they are NOT listening (likely) to Lady Gaga.  This news is so laughable it's pulled me out of the funk I've been in all week because I have been exhausted by how out of touch society has become with each other because of behaving like trolls on social media.

I'm also laughing my bony ass off because this news comes on the heels of the GOP's new plan to make an "outreach effort" to the Latino community.  I've got news for you Grumpy Old White F*CKS: YOU NEED TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO REACH OUT TO EVERYONE. You have alienated ANY person of color*, women, the LGBT community.  The only people the GOP hasn't alienated are unborn fetuses! Your old white boys network couldn't buy a clue with all of the money you've got stashed in the Caymans!

Next time try Madonna.  I bet that old whore can be bought for any price**.  Including a cabana boy.

*Except Marco Rubio, Bobby Jindal, Herman Cain, Allen West, Michael Steele and Alan Keyes. But those dudes may as well be unicorns.

**Of course I am well aware of Madonna's politics, but I still believe she IS for sale.

Yeah, That's What I Figured

Interesting new RNC logo presented in DC today... 

(Via Imgur)

Senator Saxby Chambliss is Now a Comedian

Retiring Senator from the fine state of Georgia Saxby Chambliss decided to try his hand at stand up this week by making this quip:

No, you may not "marry a gay" Sax, but you will hire homophobic aides who try and incite violence.  Poor good ol' boy Sax had to fire an aide in 2010 for blogging, "all gays must die."  Yes, IP addresses are traceable. You know we use computers nowadays, right Senator? Pundits say we still have a long way to go to get the GOP dinosaurs like this one to back gay marriage.  I say maybe not.  Because at the rate they are going offending gays, minorities and in particular, women, that party may go the way of the dodo bird.  But since Saxby is retiring, maybe it's true confessions time??  Why don't you tell us then about the dirty dealings behind the scenes in addition to the ones in front of the camera you used to defeat your opponent - triple amputee Vietnam vet Max Cleland?  Remember the guy you publicly accused of "not defending the Constitution?" Don't let the door hit you on the way out, f*ck weasel.

That's What You Get for Being Hating Haters

(Via Google+)

CPAC Crowns Rand Paul’s Toupee Winner in the "Turkey" in the Straw Poll

I'm the next Prez!  Yessum!

Washington, DC – Surprise!  Thanks to his 13-hour filibuster protesting killing Americans with drones (instead of the old fashioned way: with poisoned groundwater) until he had to leave the Senate floor to take a poo, Senator Rand Paul, R. – KY was named the belle of the ball-less at CPAC this weekend!

The Mad Hatter of the Tea Party unseated Senator Marco Rubio, R-FL (the Great Latino Tea Party Hope), who came in a close second because he ran out of drinking water and didn’t have any Ricolas because the soothing throat lozenges were likely made by the Swiss Social Democratic Party instead of the Swiss Radical Party, which likes to give hand-jobs to big business just like our GOP at home!  Plus, those-herbal-throat-lozenge-making bastards probably have a union for their employees too!!  Also, Rubio got distracted by trying to avoid talking about how to keep other Latinos out of America who might try to steal his water.

Anyway, we all know straw polls this far out from the next presidential election don’t mean anything (see: Michele Bachmann).  Besides, once Rand deep throats a corn dog at the Iowa State Fair in 2015, it will be all over. Even if his toupee doesn’t fall into the fryer.  Because you see folks, the Tea Party is getting weaker than a regularly recycled bag of Earl Grey.  Plus, they are so self-obsessed that they probably have never even noticed that while they've been polishing their guns, they been paying the lowest income taxes since circa 2000.  Good luck Randy!